and it has this ridiculous glass shelf in the middle. I never really thought much of it, but I come home today and the thing's totally smashed. Glass pieces everywhere around the area. I don't think anything was damaged except for it, but uhh does glass normally break for no reason? There wasn't even anything on it besides an n64 which I hadn't even touched in forever. I'm not too familiar with this kind of thing, it's not really the kind of thing I'd get in the first place (and definitely not any time in the future) but it just seems kinda strange

Have you ever seen food disappear mysteriously from your refrigerator? If so, now you know why. If a Nintendo 64 is neglected for a long enough time, it will grow feet and will raid your refrigerator when you're not looking. If it's feeling particularly lonely, it will overeat, and an obese Nintendo 64 can grow so heavy it can shatter a glass shelf under its enormous girth. Further research is needed to verify this fascinating hypothesis.