Because television advertising is the ultimate in truth.

• Leading Brand, Competitor, and Imitator never win in a fight.
  
• There are no females in this country who are remotely overweight.
  
• All motorists are professional drivers on closed courses.
  
• Animals can talk, but only when they're trying to sell insurance.
  

• All car salesmen are CUH-RAYZEEEEE, like their deals
  

• There ARE overweight women but they're all named Becky.
  

Becky... which one's that?

That medication or surgery involving a certain object that you or a loved one has had is bad for you, and you need to call this law firm.

And once you've filed a lawsuit and succeeded in the case, you'll want that money immediately with a structured settlement!

• Your boogers are living people with East Coast accents.

• This movie, which came out sometime early in the year, is unarguably the best movie of the entire year!
  

And the germs in your toenails, too.

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Edited by: Miles, Jun 19th, 2011 @ 10:53 pm

Your car:

It moves
It breathes
It lives
It sees

* This movie or other product, being quite overdone, is all new, and you need it!

(I seriously dislike that phrase. I hear it too often.)

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Edited by: Miles, Jun 19th, 2011 @ 10:56 pm