These are literally the only options on the table (because I'm not going to choose the hidden third option, "forget to do your homework"). I'm not really seeking advice for small-fry personal problems as much as presenting a philosophical question: What would you do in this situation? Would you avoid conflict even if it means criticizing someone without giving her a chance to offer a rebuttal? So have fun.

As for the 0.01% chance that the individual in question somehow locates this topic, congratulations on being the subject of an exceedingly random topic in an obscure Internet message board.

"Offend the recipient" is a pseudonym for "you're always late" and "you didn't do much of nothin' last month", though expressed in a marginally more diplomatic way. Now you know.

I would tend to send the email. However, I have a reputation with the staff where I teach of being overly-honest.

I might phrase the email in a way that acknowledges it's awkwardness but says that it was something you wanted to get out in the air to clear up.

If the person is offended, then you can always fall back on option one!

That said, when a co-worker of mine bad mouths someone else in my presence they fall a few notches in my eyes.

That is why Tyrone and I like to hurl insults in the most vulgar language created.

Don't know enough about the deal to say how to handle it. Sometimes it's a waste of time trying to fix things. Other times there's hope. Don't want to get yourself in a situation which is guaranteed to be aggravating and non-productive.

Monk: That's about what I'm probably going to do... but minus the most vulgar language created.

Tyrone: She's a teammate for a group project in my management class. She hasn't been completing her assignments, and she's been late to every class. I have to write a six-page paper about my group, which also means that I have to answer assorted questions about how I think my group is performing. However, she's also been really sick (her eyes have turned bright red, making her look like the perfect extra for a zombie flick), and I'd rather not bash her too hard if some of this stuff is out of her control. More importantly, if she's just been disengaged and unmotivated, I'd like to get her interested again so I don't have to do the final project all by myself.

Send awkward e-mail that could offend the recipient.

I get really ticked off when I find out people have been talking behind my back.

[quote=Bibby]Monk: That's about what I'm probably going to do... but minus the most vulgar language created.

Tyrone: She's a teammate for a group project in my management class. She hasn't been completing her assignments, and she's been late to every class. I have to write a six-page paper about my group, which also means that I have to answer assorted questions about how I think my group is performing. However, she's also been really sick (her eyes have turned bright red, making her look like the perfect extra for a zombie flick), and I'd rather not bash her too hard if some of this stuff is out of her control. More importantly, if she's just been disengaged and unmotivated, I'd like to get her interested again so I don't have to do the final project all by myself.[/quot
How did you feel about her in the begining? You can usually tell at the start has been my experience. If she seemed bad news then, cut your losses already my friend. If that wasn't the case, another chance might be in order.

At the beginning of the class, she seemed like she knew what she was doing. She'd been successful studying a bunch of different things, and she seemed friendly and cooperative and willing to contribute. I know she's been sick for a while, but not so sick she couldn't attend class.

Plus, the drop deadline has already passed, so it's too late to make changes to our groups. That means I have to get everyone on the same page, or else do all the work myself (the latter is what often ends up happening).

probably bad-mouth her behind my back

never count on me to make a good moral choice

You might consider cc'ing the prof.

The awkward e-mail did get sent, and I got a reasonably helpful, constructive, and timely response. Seems she was sicker than I realized, and it's taken her a while to bounce back.