I know I'm a bit late here, but...

1. I'm not going to start stealing automobiles this year.
2. I'm not going to start smoking.
3. I'm not going to join the Communist Party.
4. I'm not going to form a local branch of the Mafia.
5. I'm not going to eat a walrus.
7. I'm going to learn how to count.

We shall see if I can meet all of these ambitious goals.
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Edited by: Bibby, Jan 11th, 2014 @ 8:08 pm

1. I'm not going to eat my weight in barbecue sauce.
2. I'm not going to cause the apocalypse.
3. I'm not going to nuke any major countries.
4. I'm not going to make a nature documentary.
6. I'm not going to use the number 5.
7. I'm not going to make original jokes.
8. I'm not going to get married this year.
9. I'm not going to have a full 10 non-resolutions.

01. I will not overdose on Cheez-Its.
02. I will not annihilate things I'm angry at.
03. I will not get distrac
04. I will not accidentally quote Justin Bieber songs I've never heard of.
05. I will not forget my age again.
06. I will not eat more than 6 cans of soda in the same day.
07. I will not drink a whole bag of Doritos.
08. I will not let my dad try to paint a wall again.
09. I will not make a clever number joke.
0A. I will eventually wind up with a Derpy shirt of some sort.

These are some seriously ambitious resolutions guys, I tell you what.
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Edited by: Miles, Jan 13th, 2014 @ 4:14 pm

I will not make a new year's resolution....Wait....d***IT!

1. i'm not going to finish my 25 page paper about atari's prominence during the second generation of game consoles, mario vs. windows 95, or travis's day off this year
2. i'm not going to get an xbox one or a ps4. no sir
3. i'm not going to get a second job after i graduate
4. i'm not going to get better at bass
5. i'm not going to drink my weight in polar pops
6. i'm not going to laugh behind my boss's back because he looks ridiculous with his goatee
7. i'm not going to get a skip-all-the-lines pass, ride all the coasters, and puke at kings island again
7. i'm going to learn to hit the right key when i press 8 on the keyboard

1 - I'm not going to destroy my phone with a baseball bat
2 - I'm might join the national socialist movement
3 - I'm not going to create a black hole
4 - I'm not going to drive into a tornado
5 - I'm not going to speak Mandarin Chinese at a bar
6 - I'm not turning Roushi evil
7 - I'm not creating a time paradox
8 - I'm not removing shyguy's mask
9 - I'm not turning Toads into mushrooms
10 - I'm not merge Mario with Luigi
11 - I'm not hunting a Goomba
12 - I'm not eat a Trolleep-Cheep
13 - I'm not remove and sell Yoshi's shoes
14 - I'm not become a dictator

1. I'm not going to rob a haberdashery
2. I'm not going to chop down a forest
3. I'm not going to dip celery in ketchup
4. I'm not going to Mars
5. I'm not going to prank-call Papa John's pizza because I like Dominos better
6. I'm not going to eat an unpeeled cactus
7. I'm not going to cut down a mango tree
8. I'm not going to make my own Twitter knock-off
9. I'm not going to become a Keebler elf
10. I'm not going to bump a topic from 12 days ago


EDIT: scratch #10
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Edited by: HylianDev, Jan 27th, 2014 @ 1:59 am